If one swallow does not make a summer ...

... what does an absence of swallows mean?

I always took the old saying to mean, don't get excited just because you've seen the first swallow arrive, because it's not summer yet. 'Ne'er cast a clout 'til May is out' is also reasonable advice, although I've never quite been sure whether it means don't take your vest/shawl/whatever off until the May blossom is out, or until the end of May.

Back on the farm, the swallows used arrive quite reliably in the first or second week of April, twittering with excitement while they picked off flies and gnats which had come out to enjoy the spring sunshine. The swallows would feed up a bit and quickly settle to making or repairing nests, with mud from around the farm yard and the edge of the farm pond.

Late spring weather would always be a bit uncertain, but there was generally a period of high pressure with sunny days and frosty nights. We would generally have a last frost around the end of May.

Now 25 miles away and closer to sea level, I've not been able to establish when, exactly, the swallows and the last frost might arrive, because in the four years since I've moved, the weather seems different each year.

Every time I was out in April and then May, I listened and scanned the sky, eager for my first sighting of swallows. I caught blog and Facebook posts from people saying they'd seen swallows elsewhere in the county, but still there were none here.

Their absence worried me. What had happened? Where were they?

In the end, I saw my first swallows in Pembroke Dock on 10 May, but it was over a week before I saw and heard some here, while I was out in the garden. I heard and then saw swifts the same day. My heart lifted with joy.

The RSPB listings show the swallows' conservation status as green, although swifts and house martins are listed as amber. Migration can be hazardous; storms can take a great toll, and there were worrying reports of mist nets used to catch birds for food in Egypt. Anything which adversely affects numbers of flying invertebrates, on which swallows, swifts and martins feed, will also cause problems for them. Then they need places to nest; swifts like dark cavities, high up in a building. Martins also like to be high, building their mud cups under eaves. I used to see a lot of tattered plastic hanging from the eaves of buildings to dissuade house martins from building nests 'because of the mess they make', which is so sad. I'd love some house martins, although the local sparrows could be a problem. Swallows prefer to make their mud cups on ledges and beams in sheds and outhouses, sometimes only a couple of meters above ground level, requiring only a clear flight path in and out. I'd like some swallows too; perhaps something could be done when I come to sorting out the shed.

What if, one year, they simply don't arrive? A summer without swallows is unthinkable.

Stress response

I'm fine!
I am!
Actually, not so much.

I've been sleeping well, eating well, perhaps not exercising and certainly not dancing as much as I could or should. I've taken time to relax, be in nature (or at least, the garden, same thing!) and do some mindful meditation. I actively manage my whirling mind.

But my body tried to tell me that I am under stress. My joints are still in achy, winter mode, my hands particularly troublesome. I'm low on energy and tire quickly - both mental and physical stamina are poor. I've been having headaches and indigestion, both very unusual for me. My neck is tight and when I roll my shoulders, it sounds like a symphony of pops and crackles.

Around the end of March, I had a flare of dermatitis on my hands and feet. It's a type called pompholyx, or dishydrotic eczema, where patches of small, itchy, stinging water-blisters develop and coalesce, drying out over a fortnight or so to leave cracked and peeling skin.

Then at the end of April, I came down on a Monday morning, freshly showered and ready for breakfast and to start the day, and I was violently ill. Without being too graphic, it felt like my insides were leaving in both directions. I hate throwing up, and have to remind myself that it's a normal physical reaction, because it makes me feel really sick. I was left with abdominal cramps and after another shower, returned to bed. By Friday, I still felt like the bottom was dropping out of my world and went to see the doctor (anyone who knows me, knows this is another unusual event!) It took nearly another week for the medication to do its bit. The first half of May spent feeling below par! How can I begin to catch up?

Now I have a fresh crop of blisters appearing on my fingers.

Okay Mind, listen to your Body! You thought you were okay, but you're not. Stress can be an insidious thing. Time for me to have a think about what's going on.

• Brexit was due 29th March. It hasn't happened, yet, and it still makes me feel hopeless. It turns out Brexit stress is now a thing and adversely affecting the health of the nation!
• Preparing for the Khaled Mahmoud workshops, all the planning of what to take, how to pack, what to dance, how to travel, where to stay, and would the cats be okay for being left overnight?
• Then the anxiety of finding that Xena, left overnight, had managed to damage her tail (luckily not badly. I checked that she still had feeling and movement at the tip and that there were no obvious kinks or breaks, swelling or pain. She could carry the half closest to her body upright, and let the rest hang in a curve. I was very gentle with her and protective, arranging her tail so it was well-aligned and protected when she was asleep and full function was restored within the week, but still, anxiety, guilt ...).
• Feeling helpless in the face of climate change, (eco-anxiety is now a thing, too!).
• ... and the sheer, bloody idiocy, hypocrisy and corruption of some politicians and sections of the population, worldwide.
• Trying and failing to keep on top of the chaotic house and getting to grips with the garden. A perfect vicious circle, as feeling ill saps energy needed to do it, so it gets worse, so anxiety increases, so feeling more stressed and ill and without energy etc. etc. etc.)
• Fretting about friends with difficult mental and physical health issues. It's my choice to be there for them, even if only on Messenger, and I know I can't fix things (because my magic wand still hasn't been delivered, can you believe it? Come on Universe, I've had the order out for one for years now!).
• The publication of proposed changes to the local plan, showing all the fields behind the house under consideration for development, which alone would grow the village by around a quarter of its current size and obliterate views of fields, hills, the next village ...
• No swallows! Still!

So, having identified at least some of the stressors, perhaps I can stop worrying about what I can't change and try to think of positive things to do. Like, slather my hands in moisturiser.
Any other suggestions?