To Ink or Not to Ink ...

As in, Inktober ... that is the question.

Inktober is a concept created by artist Jake Parker, an invitation to accept the challenge of producing a piece of ink-based art, and posting it online, every day for the month of October. 31 days, 31 drawings.

I considered it this year, not because I am an artist, really, but because I keep saying I want to get into art and produce something good, and that needs doing rather than thinking about it. I set myself a challenge to produce 365 'creations' in a year (with less than 90 days to go, there is no way I can make this, but hey, no reason to give up!). And even if I only created doodles, it's all practice, and it develops an approach and style, a daily spot of drawing discipline. It would get me completely out of my comfort zone, as neither ink as a medium nor monochrome drawing are things I'm drawn to.

I set about finding paper; the pad I thought I had must have been my imagination, but I found a sketchbook which would do. Next, drawing pens, unused for at least 15 years, clean and hopefully ready to go. So far so good. Ink ... ink ... I was sure I had some bottles of ink. Eventually, I found it. Of course, I could just use biro/gel pen, Sharpie, any and all would count. I had a look at the prompts, (theme words). I can do this!

Can I though? I stopped doodling in the mid-80s, when it attracted adverse comments at work. I recently picked up a pencil again to sketch something and felt very uninspired and insecure, and critical of what I drew.

Do I really want to do this? There are so many other things I ought to be doing. Of course, I could set a daily time limit, but at the moment, I don't need the additional, self-imposed pressure. I'm already tired from knee pain, especially when it disturbs my sleep, and feeling the pressure of the things I'm not getting around to because of my need to rest, even if I would be sitting down to draw.

I agonised about it for a few days and then thought, if it's this hard to decide, the answer must be No.

I need to start drawing again first, to build a little confidence. To be effective, I just need to do a lot, consciously learning, but also letting go of perfectionism and attachment to outcomes, allowing it to just be.

Then, maybe next October.